HELLO.

It's draining to have to avoid you.

Yet it's the lesser of two evils, because attempting to talk to you is even more tiring. I can't appease your anger. I try to make up, but you always throw it back in my face. That awkwardness & tension that always haunts us; you could slice it with a knife.

I feel like it's all my fault, until I remind myself how we got here. I don't deserve to bear all that guilt.

I have suffered too, for certain. I lost my pioneer because of you. He hates me now, though he behaves like it's OK. The worst part is knowing that I'll never get him back now; that he'll always hate me for this.

For the first in a very long time, I suddenly feel the urge to break free of Army, to ORD immediately, if only so that I wouldn't have to see you anymore. If only so that I can be free of everything that might remind me of you.

It hurts to have to lose you as a friend, but it hurts even more to hang on to your memory.